Sobriety
- We get fired from a job.
- Someone we love breaks up with us.
- The Doctor tells us we have cancer.
- Alcohol
- Social Media
- Processed Food
- Porn
Why Wait?
To My Friend: 11/19/2022
Why wait until Jan 1, 2023 to start a new habit? Why dig the hole you are in any deeper? The pull to drink alcohol is in you. You hear the voice. But there is a voice in there too that wants you to change.
If you do nothing, you know where this path will lead.
When you hear “Now is not the right now time - we have the holidays coming” Which voice is this talking to you?
That is the problem with change. It is hard. It is easier when there is a roadblock or we are forced to change.
You have to stop this and reverse course at some point. Why not now. Right now.
Now, sit with your cup of tea or coffee and reflect on what you would feel like if on Jan 1, 2023 if you do not drink through the holidays. Think about being on day 40 of your journey vs starting on day 1.
I assure you day one’s suck balls.
Write about this feeling. The sense of accomplishment going into 2023 vs the dread of drinking and having to start over… again.
Change is not easy. It will be harder tomorrow. It will be even harder on Jan 1, 2023.
Make a decision today. Never. Ever. Doubt the decision.
I am here for you. Terry
If you would like to receive emails that will help you get sober - here is my private email list.
3 Year Ago, I took my last drink of alcohol
No rock bottom.
Just a desire to be free of the repeating behavior of drinking more than I intended followed by empty promises for change.
From the time I wanted to quit to my last drink was about 3 years.
How did I know 3 years ago it was my last drink? I had no idea. I had quit and started drinking again so many times. But I knew that my time between was quitting was getting shorter. That is the key metric in my opinion.
I made the commitment and stayed present each day with that decision until it became easier and easier.
3 years later this change has been integrated into my being.
It started with taking a break from drinking.
But it could be any activity.
The big 4 are
What these have in common? Seeking to numb out. The desire to escape.
Quitting alcohol has made me want to press further into life not escape it.
The point of not drinking is not just “Not Drinking” - but to build a life you do not want to escape from.
If I can be of help to you or if you want to tell someone that you are starting your journey, please send me a note. I would love to hear from you.
The Key Metric in Making Change
The best advice I heard and verified in my own life is the following for quitting something.
Keep quitting until you have quit.
Step 1:
Decide that you are going to make a change. You know without a shred of doubt that it is bad for you.
Step 2:
Never doubt the decision.
Step 3: (if needed)
If you fail, repeat steps 1 and 2.
How To Track Your Way to Success!
The only metric I would suggest you track is the amount of time (mins, hours, days, weeks) that passes until your restart.
If you can shorten this time you are on the path to success.
If you ignore the fact you are off course then you are heading in the wrong direction.
The hardest part is to not ignore the truth that you have committed too.
Ignoring a problem can feel good in the moment but it delays the pain. We all know this.
When I wanted to stop drinking alcohol, and I would drink again, I stopped worrying about how many failures happened and I focused on starting again.
I would restart my journey.
It took me about 3 years.
The last time I opened a beer I took one sip and I threw the rest away. That was my last drink.
Your Friend.
Terry
From my Journal: How Many Times Must I Fail?
I started my journey in the summer of 2016. I wanted to change my relationship with alcohol. I was not sure exactly how or what I needed to do and I think I did what most people do when they think they might have a problem with something, they take a break from it.
So that is what I did. I started with a 30 day personal challenge.
2016 and 2017 I would repeat a pattern. I would give myself a challenge of 30, 60 or 90 days. I would complete them and continue forward without drinking but at somepoint I would change my mind and say to myself “You got this. Alcohol is not a problem anymore. You understand”.
I would have a drink or 2 with my friends.
With in a couple of weeks I was back to not liking my relationship with alcohol.
Oddly, enough most of my friends never really thought I had a problem. But they were not in my head and hearing my thoughts. I spent way too much time thinking about alcohol, regretting drinking, planning not to drink etc etc etc.
Here is an entry I wrote August of 2019.
My sobriety date is Oct 1, 2018.
I wrote about my experience of breaking a 60 day break in 2018 - just 40 days before I would quit for good.
60 days in on a 365 day goal … lets be honest .. on a lifetime goal. Why? Cause there is no benefit to drinking - I wrote this exactly 1 Year Ago!
I broke sobriety 3 weeks later after completing my first Triathlon…. Why? cause I wanted to celebrate. I wanted to be in the beer area and celebrate with my friends.
I drank all the way till the end of Sept. 2018.
In 2019 - One year later - I am 60 days from reaching the one year mark for my sobriety.
Interesting what a year will do.
I am grateful that this year when I finish the Tri I will not be tempted by the beer tent. Not even a little. Sure I might walk in to high five my friends but no need for the beer.
At some point in the last 9 months I just stopped wanting alcohol. I am free.
I am free.
I love reading that. It almost makes me tear up.
I want this for others that want it.
If I can be of help let me know.
Peace and Love Terry