I turned 50 in 2018.

I stopped drinking alcohol Oct 1, 2018.

I did not know that Oct 1 was going to be the day. I had failed many times before in the previous 2 years.

But that morning when I was writing in my journal, I made a promise to myself that it would be. I believed it would be the last day. I believed in myself.

That was my first little mantra that I used.

What I did not fully understand then is that those 2 years of relapse hell I lived in was moving me towards Oct 1st 2018. In the moment all I could see was failure on my part.

Understandably so. There was that voice in my head that would not stop.

• Have a Beer! - You have been so good on your plan. You deserve it
• Are you really not going to drink at this wedding?
• You have been sober for 6 months - alcohol is not a problem for you - you got this. Have a beer and just chill ok?

All of the above from my beast within.

I felt stuck in the mud. I was living ground hogs day.

What I did not understand was that all of that time I was weakening the addiction in myself. I was casting votes for a new identity. I weakened it enough and dug deep enough and journaled enough to build new habits and routines.

In short, I never gave up.

I used podcasts, books, videos, blogs and people IRL - that I experience their joy and their journey and I said to myself. “I want some of that…. I want some of that for my life”

I want to be a help to you.

I want to encourage and support you in your journey.

Take a step.

Send me an email or reply to this if you are reading in your inbox or email me at terry@terrygrier.me Let me know you have started your journey.

I will reply. I can be your first sober friend.

Your friend.
Terry